


Long Overdue

by bristrandd



Category: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Genre: M/M, Tarlos - Freeform, Texas, carlos reyes is a good boyfriend, tk strand is finally happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-31
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:08:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23206741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bristrandd/pseuds/bristrandd
Summary: TK’s happiness is something that’s long over due. Maybe Carlos could change that, clearly nothing else could.
Relationships: Carlos Reyes/TK Strand, TK Strand/Owen Strand
Comments: 1
Kudos: 85





	Long Overdue

Perhaps happiness wasn't an option, perhaps being able to hold the feeling of joy for more than 3 hours is impossible. Perhaps living a happy life isn't what God was going to give TK Strand. He's tried everything, he's also tried nothing, neither of them worked. He's tried pills (what a mistake), he's tried proposing. Nothing in the book worked which gave TK the idea that happiness wasn't meant for him. Maybe what was meant for him was the feeling of his heart sunken into his stomach, feeling grey constantly. Maybe the numb feeling was meant for him - not happiness, not joy. 

TK's standing at the balcony that overlooked the fire trucks in ladder 126, a small pill bottle gripped in his right hand. His stomach was flipping, just one Tyler, that's all. 

But one wasn't enough - no, no. One always turned into two. Two leading into three, and it goes on. That's why TK accidentally overdosed three times - fourth time being on purpose. Killing himself obviously wasn't a destiny for him either. Now, he knows that the only way he'll ever get taken out was with old age, an accident on the job, or a terrible sickness or virus. TK wishes he could have his father's cancer. For three reasons; one, his father didn't deserve it, he was too good of a man. Two, the 126 can't lose their captain and TK won't ever be able to cope with the loss of his beloved father. Three, TK _really_ wants to die.

TK’s relapsed before, nothing he was ever proud of, but did he really want to relapse yet again? He’s trying, trying so hard to get over this seemingly never ending chapter of his life. He’s been like this since he was seven, ever since his parents divorce. That was nineteen years ago. Nineteen years without happiness, nineteen years feeling numb. TK couldn’t do this, but he wanted to. His hand was trembling causing the pills to rattle in the bottle and as TK’s grip loosened on the bottle, it fell all the way down on the EMS truck below him making a loud boom. He jumped slightly, whimpering at the fact that he lost them. 

“TK?” Owen asked, voice low. Tears filled TK’s green eyes. 

“Dad,” he sniveled. Then, TK crumpled to the ground, pulling his knees up to his chest and wrapping his arms around himself. Silent sobs wracked his body, hurting his chest. He can’t do this anymore. He wishes someone could just sneak into his room in the middle of the night and stab him to death. He wishes someone could run him over with an eighteen wheeler. He wishes someone would shoot him in the chest so he can finally rest in peace. 

Owen's heart stopped at the image of his son, he inhaled sharply. Owen went over and sat down next to his son, wrapping his arms around TK's shoulder. He held him tightly, whispering soft reassuring words into his ear. 

“It hurts, it hurts so bad. Make it 'top,” TK sobbed. Owen knew instantly what TK meant -- he felt the same pain when he lost the fourteen men from his house on 9/11. Owen recovered from it but that doesn’t mean he still doesn’t get nightmares revolving around the exact events that happened, doesn’t mean he doesn’t have to relive it everyday. 

“I know kiddo, I know,” Owen hummed while stroking TK’s hair, just the way he knew it always calmed his son down. Owen's heart ached, his thought process running miles a minute. What was upsetting TK? Why was he sad? What the hell am I supposed to do now? Where’d he get the pills? Owen knew it wasn’t best to ask his son right now so he promised himself to ask on his way home later. 

TK’s body stopped shaking and his breathing was beginning to even out which led Owen to believe that TK cried himself to sleep in Owen's arms. This happened way too often. How could Owen make TK happy? 

Spoiler alert: he can’t. No matter how much effort he tried to put into TK’s happiness, nothing worked. Owen didn’t want to live with the fact that his son may never be happy again. 

The only time he’s ever seen TK happy since he’s came to Austin was when he was dancing with that police officer. What had been his name again? Tristan? Aiden? Calvin? Carl? Carlos — that was it! Carlos, officer Reyes, had been the only person that could bring a genuine smile out of his boy, his eyes shined with joy. Owen could see that when they were line dancing, when they were playing darts in the bar, when Carlos dropped by at the station to see Michelle. Owen wishes he could bring that smile out of him. 

Owen picked up TK gently that way he wouldn’t wake him up and carried him bridal style to their sleeping quarters. He lied TK down and took off his shoes, lying them on the floor next to the nightstand and yanked the blankets over him and tucked Tyler into the bed — just like he did when he was younger. Owen kissed his temple and whispered so quietly that it was almost silent, “Goodnight, baby.” 

* * *

**"I'm afraid of all I am,**   
**My mind feels like a foreign land,  
Silence ringing inside my head,  
Please, carry me, carry me, carry me home." **

* * *

Carlos Reyes appeared at the station the next morning, looking for Michelle Blake, the EMS captain. And maybe, just maybe, he was also looking for a fellow firefighter named TK Strand, but nobody needed to know that. Perhaps he purposely ran into TK that afternoon. Carlos felt like he never loved a single soul more than he loved TK. He admired everything about the young firefighter. From his hair to his smile -- the man was perfect. TK's features were astonishingly beautiful. Carlos knew about TK's relapses, he hated hearing about how the man he's in love with is internally suffering but he wanted nothing more than to help TK through this whole thing. And he is doing that, he's slowly but surely bringing TK towards the light and out of the darkness. 

"Good morning, officer Reyes," Owen Strand greeted with a smile as a dog trailed behind him. Carlos returned the gesture. 

"Mornin' captain Strand, but Carlos please." Carlos bit his inner cheek and felt his stomach jump as he saw the man who he thought was the most beautiful appear out in the kitchen. 

"That's Owen to you, then." Carlos nodded at the man and walked over to TK, tapping his shoulder lightly and showing him a soft smile. TK's heart slammed against his chest rapidly as he saw Carlos walk into the station. He's nervous -- wait, why is he nervous? He shouldn't be nervous, this is just his friend. TK scoffed internally to himself. His friend that he was hopelessly falling for. 

"Hi. Aren't you on shift? What are you doing here?" TK's back was pressed up against the counter and Carlos didn't know how he kept himself under control. It took everything for him not to grip TK's hip and kiss him until he forgets his name. 

"I actually got off for the day, thought I could drop by and see my favorite fire fighting team," Carlos grinned. TK smiled and nodded before turning around and fixing the salad him and Marjan had been previously working on. 

"If you want, you can stay for lunch. I'm sure the others wouldn't mind," TK said as he moved around and brought out a pile of sandwiches from the fridge. 

"I don't see why not. Uh quick question though," Carlos waited for TK to hum before he continued. "Have you seen Michelle?" 

"I think she's upstairs with Dad. He told me he was going to finally make a move or something like that." Carlos nodded at that. He clenched his jaw and forced himself to not hug TK, he didn't want to make him uncomfortable but Carlos wanted nothing more than to hold him. Carlos wanted nothing more than to have _something_ with him -- even if they had to be friends with benefits. God, Carlos would kill (although, that would require him losing his position as a cop and mess everything up for himself) to even kiss Tyler. That's all Carlos could think about, that's what he dreamed about: a life with the young firefighter. 

"Alright. Thanks TK," Carlos smiled at him before he jogged upstairs. Carlos keeps thinking about it, thinking about whether he should make a move or not. He doesn't know what to do. Carlos wants nothing more than to make TK's days, he just wants to make him happy no matter what it took. TK was precious, in his eyes anyways, and perfect and he didn't deserve anything but to be happy. He shook his thoughts away. Carlos has to contain himself. TK doesn't want this. 

* * *

**"I wanna sleep next to you,  
But that's all I wanna do right now,  
And I wanna come home to you,  
But home is just a room full of my safest sounds,  
'Cause you know that I can't trust myself with my three A.M. shadow,  
I'd rather fuel a fantasy than deal with this alone."**

* * *

TK would catch feelings too easily which is one of the things he hates most about himself, he gets attached way too fast. So what happened when he saw officer Carlos Reyes that night when his father was saving a baby from a tree? He fell, fell hard. Fell so hard he has cuts and bruises on his knees and little pebbles stuck in his palms. He was unable to get up and when he did, he fell again yet this time, so much harder. He beat himself up mentally every time he saw Carlos. He wants nothing more than to spend a night in his bed (in a nonsexual way) cuddled up to his chest while they fall asleep to dumb comedy movies that are so horrible, they're hilarious. He wants nothing more than to kiss that dumb adorable grin off his face. TK wants this, he needs it. 

Why doesn't he let himself go? Rejection was too much of a fear for him and TK would rather keep tumbling and getting pebbles stuck in his hands then face the reality of Carlos laughing in his face when TK finally admitted out loud that he loved him. The injuries were almost realistic -- of course, he didn't have pebbles stuck in his palms and cuts from getting his knees scraped from the pavement but the inner pain, the strike in the chest whenever he saw Carlos smiling felt as if he was getting shot. Carlos was such a good person, a gentleman. Carlos was the type to take his time and cook you a dinner even when he was down just to make you feel better. Carlos was the type to open the car door for you and close it before going to his side. Carlos was a selfless and genuine man. He'd shove everything else important to him aside for a stranger in need. Not to mention, Carlos was hot. Like really fuckin' hot. 

Carlos was almost too nice, too good to be true. He was too good to be true. TK sometimes has to take a double take whenever he sees Carlos. TK's smile dropped when Carlos turned around and left to go find Michelle. How'd he fall so in love with that man? He wishes he didn't, perhaps it wouldn't hurt as much. Marjan came back with salad dressing and different spices in her hands. She instantly noticed how down her best friend became. 

"Hey TK," she greeted as she placed the bottles down on the counter and walked over to him, observing his facial expression. 

"Hi," he replied and licked his lips, gnawing on the bottom one. Marjan noticed it was a habit he had whenever he'd been on the edge and whenever she asked him about it, he smiled lightly at her and said nothing. Marjan hit his shoulder softly. 

"Stop that," she demanded. TK looked confused. 

"Stop what? I'm not even doing anything." Marjan shook her head at his reply and got out the plates before placing everyone's sandwich that was wrapped on the plate. 

"What's bothering you?" TK couldn't hold it in anymore. He needed to tell someone. He sighed and looked at her. 

"I love him. I love him so damn much, Mar, you don't get it. And I can't have him. I'd rather suffer than him laughing in his stupid face when I finally get the balls to admit it," TK rambled. "I fucking hate him. He's so perfect, I mean, have you seen the guy? He's so sweet and kind and he's always been there for me. Even when I flipped out over some dinner he made, he held me when I cried about my dad's cancer. Shit, I'm so in love with him and I feel like I barely know him and he can't ever know about my dumb feelings for him because he's never going to talk to me again and I don't-" Marjan cut him off, placing a hand on TK's shoulder, eyes filled with worry. TK glanced at her and she could see the tears in his eyes but she knew she wouldn't let them fall. 

"Teek, he's not going to reject you. If he didn't like you, he wouldn't have held you when you cried about Cap's cancer. He wouldn't look at you like you're God. He loves you too, we all can see it. Ask Paul, he likes knows everything because I swear, he's some stalker." TK stifled a laugh at that, sniffling. "You don't have to be scared and if he laughs at you when you tell him you love him, I'll shove my foot so far up his ass he'll be able to see that light." 

"Thanks Marjan," he said and pulled her into a hug, a tight one. "So, you think I should tell him? I mean, maybe it's a good idea but I'm terrified of doing it." The two split from their hug. 

"Terrified of what, TK?" Owen asked as him, Michelle, and Carlos came downstairs. TK's eyes widened in shock and Marjan laughed. 

"Nothing, it's nothing Dad," TK promised. Owen snorted at that as he and Michelle got cups out and placed everything on the table. TK could feel Carlos' eyes on him and when TK looked up, he could see Carlos flinch and look away. A small smile made its way onto his face. 

"Sure it ain't nothin' son. Whatever you say," Owen replied. He didn't believe TK one bit and he knows his son so he knows when he's lying. TK rolled his eyes at his response before yelling out that lunch was served. Judd, Paul, and Mateo all came running in and Judd had been soaking wet. 

"Cap, I'm about to beat probie and Paul up," Judd threatened. Mateo and Paul's grins widen. 

"Is that a threat or a promise?" Mateo teased. Judd eyes harded. 

"A promise," Judd said as he went to go grab Mateo by the shirt before Marjan interacted. 

"Nope, you're gonna have to get through me first," she said, a small smirked hinted at her lips. Owen and Michelle cooed. 

"Standing up for your boyfriend, huh Marjan?" TK asked, palm resting on the table. Carlos walked over and stood next to him, laughing. Paul was behind Mateo making kissing gestures. 

"Shut up TK. At least I have the balls to make a move and tell mine I love him," Marjan sassed. TK rolled his eyes and shrugged. 

"Back off, Mar. I'm never telling you anything ever again," TK responded. They all sat down, leaving it at that before questioning Judd about why he was wet. 

* * *

**"Nothing is easy, baby  
I wish I could let you in  
But inside of me  
There's a sign that reads, 'no vacancy'"**

* * *

Grand gestures are Owen Strand's thing, but not so much his son. Maybe it's just life because life seems to hate him, but grand gestures always failed for him. Especially last time since he almost took his life because of some dumb guy. TK took Marjan's advice to stop being a little bitch and tell Carlos that he's in love with him although TK doesn't know how. Plus, he's petrified. All the possible outcomes are racing through TK's head which is making him loose sleep at night. 

TK had an idea though. Michelle was Carlos' best friend and she practically knew everything about him so if TK wanted to make this perfect, she was the answer. TK was coming to work for his twenty-four hour shift after having the day off. He jogged into the firehouse, sweat dripped from his face and as he halted to a stop, attempting to catch his breath as he dragged his shirt up to dry his face which had revealed his abs. A bunch of wolf howls followed and when TK looked up, he saw Carlos standing in front of him, eyes wide and cheeks pink. TK jumped, not expecting him to be there. 

"Damn TK. That's hot," Mateo joked from on top of the rig which he was cleaning. TK flipped him off and fixed his hair, attempting to look better for the man that was standing in front of him. 

"Hey Carlos," TK greeted. Carlos bit his lip, foot tapping rapidly. "Is something wrong?" 

"I need to talk to you," Carlos yanked TK by the wrist and dragged him outside and in a place where the crew couldn't see the two. 

"What's up? Did I do something? I apologize if I-" TK was cut off, a pair of soft lips attaching to his. TK froze before putting his hand up to Carlos' cheek which deepened the kiss. TK's stomach grew fuzzy and his heart pounded against his chest rapidly. Carlos pulled back, ending the kiss which made TK whine but the eye contact between the two was tense. Carlos' hands rested on TK's hips, gripping them a bit hard but TK didn't mind. He wants Carlos' hands all over him but he'd never tell him that. 

"Look, TK. I don't know what you want but I want this. I want something with you, not one of those fuck and ducks. Not a one night stand. A relationship. And if you don't want this too, I get it but just -- fuck." TK rolled his eyes and pressed his lips against Carlos' once more. TK's body tingled. 

Damn, did Carlos make TK happy. Maybe this. This was the feeling of joy; this was the feeling that was long overdue for him. 

**Author's Note:**

> i was originally gonna add more but the ending seemed perfect so i left it at that. comment ur thoughts ,, hope u enjoyed
> 
> stay safe nd wash ur hands ((:


End file.
